7 years

    Today, Emma turns 7.  She is a source of joy for us.  She is a reminder that there is good in the world.
    Tonight, I will make sure the car is packed before we head out of town.  We are going to visit a friend in hospice.  We tried to see her in August but she wasn't letting anyone come and see her then.  Now, her room is the party room.
    I have these 2 pictures in my head - of a pink cake with 7 candles on it and a room with beeps and wires and monitors.  And think,
     "Don't grow up anymore.  Stay 7.  I will make you a princess cake every year if you will just stay 7."
      Not because I want her to stay little but I want her to stay innocent.  There is so much pain in this world.  Sometimes, I wonder what we were thinking to bring these 2 beautiful children into this world. Why?  When we worry about the state of our government?  When we worry about our health or our friends?  Why when it seems that there is more grief than joy?
    And then I remember her faith.  She prays every night for Daddy's legs to feel better.  She knows that he may never walk again but she has faith that he will feel better.
     I remember her bravery.  The intensive care unit is scary - there were some pretty beat up folks there and a lot of pain.  But she was determined to see her Daddy - no matter what. 
   I remember her imagination.  It is posted on the fridge.
   I remember her gentleness with her brother and smaller children.
   I remember her sense of humor.  Knock knock jokes have never been so funny.
   I remember her love of dance.  She is so free.
   I remember her spark when she makes a connection with what she has learned to something new.
   She is smart, loves to read and dance.  She has discovered that boys are cute but won't admit it.  She has her own opinions about fashion and is learning to stand up for herself and others.  She is trying new food (spaghetti and eggs!!!).  She makes friends so easily.
      So while my friend is dying and I think, we are too young for this and while Jarrad is getting used to his new body and we sometimes grieve what is lost, I will look at my beautiful daughter who said to me this morning,  "Mommy, you are the best present I could ever have."
   Happy Birthday, Sweetheart!