Spoiled

     Jarrad says that I have 2 types of PMS:  Weepy and cranky and weepy and lovey.   Want to guess which type he prefers?  Fortunately, we are weepy and lovey today. 
    So - today, on this beautiful day - I dropped the kids off at school.  It was a good morning.  Could have been better if I had slept but there was no yelling about teeth or getting dressed or eating breakfast.  I made a hot breakfast (!) and we even had enough time to play an (educational) computer game. Wonderful.
     And as I watched them exit the car and run into the building, I couldn't help but think how blessed I am and how quickly time goes.
    Everyone tells you to "enjoy the time because it goes by so fast".  Yep.  It does.
    Don't worry about a clean house because they are going to grow up so fast.  But they still need clean clothes and I need to function in said house.
    They are only little once so don't sweat the small stuff.  Um, have YOU ever stepped on a lego in the the middle of the night?
    Enjoying this time isn't about letting your house go to pot, it is about taking a moment, a snapshot, and holding it forever.  5 minutes to play and remember because out of 24 hours, those 5 minutes are going to be the ones that you all remember.
    So, I am going to make them make their beds every morning.  I don't require it to be perfect but I do want the covers up and pillows and the 20 stuffed animals on their beds.  And I am going to make them have (at least) a "daddy sized" path from  their bed to the door.   They are going to put away dishes every night. And I am going to freak out when there are socks all over the floor or when someone leaves his underwear in the bathroom and his sister yells that it is gross (DUDE! There is a hamper!)
   And I am going to go to dance recitals - both on a stage and at home - and basketball games (because NOW we miss it) and as many field trips as I can.

calender year

 


     I never buy a calender in January.  I always wait for the "academic calenders" to come out.  That is when the year starts for me.  As it always has - first in my own primary education, then college, then in my career.  There are the "lost years" where the days and months all blended together in a sleepless blur.
   And then, I started all whole new era of an academic calender with my kids' education.  They started back to school this week.  Emma went on Monday.  She is an old hand at this school business but still wanted me to walk her in.  She knows her hall, the staff - waved hi to different kids.  She knows what is going on.
    Samuel started on Wednesday.  He told me that I could go through the car pool line; he knew where his class was and could walk in by himself.
    I told him that it wasn't for him but for me.  And he gave me a look and said, "Ok Mommy" in a tone that indicated he knew exactly what I meant.
   Sure enough, he knew right where his classroom was, cubby, and table.  Didn't even pause to give me a hug (I got one anyway) and said a casual "Bye Mom" as I left. 
   Wednesday was a surreal day.
   So quiet.  So still.  So. . . not what I am used to.
   I wonder what I will do in a decade or so when I won't need an academic calender as much as I have in the past. 

Dear Santa

    I remember when my kids were littler, Santa scared them.  Oh, from a distance, they would be fine.  But when you got up close, it was a different story.  For awhile, they would only talk to Mrs. Claus.  Good friends have a costume set and would go around the neighborhood as one or the other.  Mrs. Claus would come to a playdate and read us a story and give out little bells.  Santa would come later.  I think that I only got this picture because Mrs. Claus was there.
    Emma seemed to be scared till about 5.  Sam, he got over his fright last year.  But their fear never stopped them from asking for presents.  Emma wrote her letter this year and Sam dictated his to me.  I thought that I would share. 
       Emma wrote that she is a good big sister (she really is) and good BFF (she and her BFF wrote the letters together) and helped decorate the house for Christmas (the kid practically knocked me down to get to the decorations).  She said that she wants Skylanders (sorry kid! Will Disney Infinity do?) Aladin (ahhh!  Not released!) and a Switch and Go Dino (so she can play with Sam).
    Sam wrote that he has been both good and bad (at least he is honest) and that he cleans his room and makes his bed (under severe duress) and that he doesn't always listen to Mommy (true - I think it might be a gender thing) and he would like a Switch and Go Dino, a scooter, a dragon, a new Big Boots and a Helicopter Switch and Go Dino.
    He is getting the Dino . . .
    Their letters make me laugh.  I take them to Target and let them make a list that I turn around and send to relatives.   They don't have to buy from Target but it gives them an idea of what the kids are into (and sizes).  And the kids get to know that they don't get everything that they put on the list.
      Do you ever want to make a list for Santa?  A long, impossible list?  Did you see you seen the airline that gave its passengers presents?  It is pretty cool. The kids all ask for things with an assurance that they will  get it.  The adults ask for things and laugh and roll their eyes because there is a bittersweet fun in the asking.  As the video progresses, the real fun was in watching the adults.  For them, for a moment, it was like being a kid again.
    I wonder what the airline would have made of my list?
     Dear Santa, 
    I think I have been pretty good this year.  I have tried to control my temper - not always very successful, I admit.  But I think my patience has improved.  So Santa, if I could have anything in the world, I would love it if Jarrad could walk again or least not be in any pain.  I know that is probably beyond your ken, so instead, I would ask for an accessible house and a van.  I would ask for a time/space warp machine similar to what you use on Christmas night so that I could go visit my folks and friends in the blink of an eye.  A winning lottery ticket would be nice too.  
   So Santa, if you think you could see your way clear to any of these things, that would be great. 
Sincerely, 
Belinda
Age 37
   There is something in the asking.  I know that we will have the house someday - we have a plan! And hopefully, the van will happen in the next couple of months - it would be awesome if it came on Christmas!  I would actually have to buy a lottery ticket for that to work and who knows what breakthroughs science will come up with?  

Happy Halloween (a few days late)

Before wheels - a fairy princess and Super Sam 2009

    We live in a big neighborhood.  Huge!  Lots of families, every street has a police officer living on it (no, really, you go down a street you will see a cop car parked at least one house), lights and soft curves that (are supposed to) deter fast driving.  So it is little wonder that there is always a huge turn out on Halloween night.
    Used to be really huge - like crazy.  You could have just taken the 30 or 50 bucks you spent on candy and thrown it and you woul
d have gotten rid of it in 30 seconds.  I remember when Emma was born.  She was a week old and I hadn't bought candy.  I remember sitting on the couch in our living room trying to nurse her and folks were knocking on the door and peering through the glass.  I didn't have the front light on either.
    When we first took Emma trick or treating, we went downtown.  One of the benefits of living in a small town is that there is a great sense of community.  We would park at the CVS, walk up to the church that had it's trunk or treat and come back the other side - that was it!  It was quick, safe and fast.  Then we would come home and just hand out candy.

Super Pink and Cowboy 2011

    Now that Jarrad is in wheels, we don't do that.  He stays home and I walk the kids up the street and then down.  It works.  But I hate it.  It is one of those things that I would like to do together.  And maybe, as he gets stronger and is in less pain (which I am hoping will happen after his HO surgery), we will do more of those things.  We can't do down town - too crowded and weird sidewalks but our neighborhood is nice.
    That's it for the "wheels" aspect of it and now onto other aspects.

Firefighter and fairy princess 2013

    I will give candy to anyone who comes to my door IF they make the effort to dress up.  If not, no candy for YOU!  And yes, I have refused candy.  I DARE you to egg or toilet paper my house!  I have some aggression I need to release especially now that I don't go to yoga (I miss yoga).  I read a really good article about older kids
that really spoke to my inner mom.  It was sweet.  But you still have to dress up  - and do kooky please, not scary and I will be generous.  The other article I read was about Christians
and how we perceive Halloween.  It made me think - hmmm, what could I do?  Something to mull on for next year.
    Something else to mull on is how to incorporate a "trick" into next year.  We went to a house where the couple was sitting on their porch and had 2 baskets.  One had candy and one was empty.  He asked which one they would like to pull from.  Well, my kids are like the one with the candy - duh!  Not the empty one.  I was a little nervous because I thought it was a "put your hand in and something will grab it" type of trick.  It wasn't.  Instead, he would reach in and pull out a red light and pop it in their baskets.  Of course, it would disappear but for a minute their eyes were big with wonder and it was neat.

    I like the innocent Halloween.  The one that is made up of dreams.  

7 years

    Today, Emma turns 7.  She is a source of joy for us.  She is a reminder that there is good in the world.
    Tonight, I will make sure the car is packed before we head out of town.  We are going to visit a friend in hospice.  We tried to see her in August but she wasn't letting anyone come and see her then.  Now, her room is the party room.
    I have these 2 pictures in my head - of a pink cake with 7 candles on it and a room with beeps and wires and monitors.  And think,
     "Don't grow up anymore.  Stay 7.  I will make you a princess cake every year if you will just stay 7."
      Not because I want her to stay little but I want her to stay innocent.  There is so much pain in this world.  Sometimes, I wonder what we were thinking to bring these 2 beautiful children into this world. Why?  When we worry about the state of our government?  When we worry about our health or our friends?  Why when it seems that there is more grief than joy?
    And then I remember her faith.  She prays every night for Daddy's legs to feel better.  She knows that he may never walk again but she has faith that he will feel better.
     I remember her bravery.  The intensive care unit is scary - there were some pretty beat up folks there and a lot of pain.  But she was determined to see her Daddy - no matter what. 
   I remember her imagination.  It is posted on the fridge.
   I remember her gentleness with her brother and smaller children.
   I remember her sense of humor.  Knock knock jokes have never been so funny.
   I remember her love of dance.  She is so free.
   I remember her spark when she makes a connection with what she has learned to something new.
   She is smart, loves to read and dance.  She has discovered that boys are cute but won't admit it.  She has her own opinions about fashion and is learning to stand up for herself and others.  She is trying new food (spaghetti and eggs!!!).  She makes friends so easily.
      So while my friend is dying and I think, we are too young for this and while Jarrad is getting used to his new body and we sometimes grieve what is lost, I will look at my beautiful daughter who said to me this morning,  "Mommy, you are the best present I could ever have."
   Happy Birthday, Sweetheart!

Lovely weekend

   This weekend has been lovely.  Sometimes you just need a bit of loveliness in your life - it gives life a glow and you a rest.  Saturday, Jarrad had a brew day with some friends and I walked Emma to a friend's house for a play date.  Friend's mom also happens to be my friend so while the girls played, we sat on the front porch, drank coffee and chatted.  Nice, nice way to start the weekend.  I am all about taking a day of rest which I define as a day to do something that makes you happy, feel relaxed or have a sense of accomplishment.  So, yeah!  Good start.
   I came home to see my son hanging out with the guys.  I took a minute to absorb the scene in front of me.  4 men, all intelligent, with integrity, compassion and kindness.  As I watched, I saw them talk to my son, let him handle a screw driver, touch his head, call him buddy. None of which they had to do.  And I thought I want this - every day, for my son.  I want him to be surrounded by men that he should grow up to be like.  I feel lucky.  And sad because it should be that way for every boy.  I am so happy my boy has it.  He had fun.  When it started to get a little hectic, I called him in to play with me but he had to keep checking on "the guys".
    "Hey Guys!  Whatcha doing?"
    "Hey Guys!  Do you need help?"
    "Hey Guys!  Do you want a fruit pop?"
    They are cool guys.
    Later, as the kids were getting ready for bed, Emma, who has had a very wiggly tooth asked me to pull it out.  1 . . . 2 . . . 3. . .  and out it came.  I know that there was a bit of pain but she did really well.  Into the Tooth Fairy pillow it went and there it stayed until 7:30 the next morning when she woke up and checked to see what the tooth fairy left her.

    Mommy fail.
    ARGH!
   "Mommy, why didn't the Tooth Fairy take my tooth?"
   "I don't know, Honey, let's try again tonight.  Maybe she was on vacation because it is the weekend."
    Crisis averted.
    UNTIL . . .
    "Mommy!  My tooth fell down the drain!"
   "How did that happen?"
   "I was washing it because I thought it might be too dirty and that was why the Tooth Fairy didn't come and it slipped."
    Comfort.  Comfort.  Finally happy and watching cartoons.
   Meanwhile, the Tooth Fairy has snuck in,  used her magic to fish out the errant tooth and left a note explaining that there had been a record number of teeth lost the day before (Junior Hockey League Tournament) and her assistant was had been sick with a tooth ache (of all things!) and so the Tooth Fairy had hoped that Emma had slept in but realized she was too late when she saw Emma washing her tooth.  But she had pulled it from the drain because Emma has very good teeth.
    Happy girl.
   Mommy save!
   Whoo hoo!
   Finally, to make this a truly lovely weekend. . . 
  We have been going to Sunday School.  I made the comment that I liked it because I got to sit next to Jarrad as opposed to church where I sit in the pew in front of him.  We sit in the back because, well, it was either there or the front and the front was too hard - special music and guests usually sat there so we would sometimes be with out a seat and Jarrad had to sit sideways and crane his neck.  Sitting in the back is so much better.
   Anyway, we sit in the back.  When the Sunday school teacher heard my comment, she was stricken.  It was not something she had thought about and she likes to sit next to her husband and why didn't we ever say anything and I should take that chair.  I smiled, shrugged and didn't take the chair.  She did.  Put it right in our "pew" and told the ushers it was to be there every Sunday for us.
     One of the 80 something ushers told me that as long as he was there, that chair would be there and I was not to put it away, he would take care of it.
    It was a little thing.  I missed sitting next to Jarrad. 
No one else had thought of it because, well, why should they?  But when it was brought to their attention, they almost seemed ashamed that they hadn't.
   I really liked sitting next to Jarrad in church.
   So nice.
  And to add the icing on the cake - went to lunch and made some new friends.  They were great with our kids - didn't care that they were rammy and played with them.  Talked to them.  We laughed and spent 2 hours in the restaurant.  Can you believe it?
    Happy, happy weekend!   
 
     

1 week(almost) down

   Preschool, 1st grade and Driving lessons.
   Er, um, who . . . um, don't you have at least 10 years to go before you have driving lessons at your house? 
    Nope, we aren't fast forwarding; we are going back some 20 odd years.  Jarrad started driving lessons on Tuesday!  It was, in his words, exhilarating. 
   We have been waiting 8 months for these lessons.  Ugh.  Just thinking about the process makes me want to cringe.  Needless to say, it has been a wait and we were told that it would be mid September before we could get the lessons.  But when Driver Rehab called and had an opening for the next 4 Tuesdays - we knew that we had to take it.  We rearranged appointments and for the next 3 Tuesdays, stay off the road from 10 - 3:30! 
    Ha! 
    Sorry, Sweetie! 
    Actually, the instructor said Jarrad did very well.  He needs to work on 3 point turns and backing up straight.  Not a big deal unless you can't turn your torso to look over your shoulder. 
    Try it.  Look over your shoulder but don't move your waist. 
     Yep, have to use the mirror for those blind spots. 
    Once Jarrad can do those 2 things smoothly (they are just a little jerky), he will go for his road test and get his endorsed license.  THEN we get a script and can get a modified vehicle.  The script is for the modifications - not the vehicle, FYI. 
    He said it went really well.  The instructor said that Jarrad was the closest to injury person he has ever trained.  Mostly, he trains folks who have had several years of not driving or have never driven.  The latter, I understand.  The former puzzles me a bit.  One of the things that we were told in acute rehab was to not wait and get this taken care of as soon as possible. 
   I don't think it can come soon enough! 
   That was the big guy's learning experience.  My other kids had great weeks so far too.  Emma has a great teacher that seems so nurturing.  She gave Emma a hug (shoulder squeeze) the first morning and told her she was so glad to see her.  That made me feel good.  And every day, I have a happy 1st grader getting off the bus. 
    Sam has really enjoyed his preschool mornings.  Tuesday, he woke up asking if he needed to get ready.  His favorite part is playing on the playground.  I pick him up there.  His teachers call him over and remind him that they have to be the ones to open the gate.  They ask each kid if the kid wants a hug or a high five.  Sam chose a 3rd option and gave his teacher a big kiss on the arm!  I think he enjoyed his first day! 
    He told me the other day that when he grows up, he wants to be a preschool teacher. 
    Awwww. . . wait for it . . .
   So that he can open the gate. 

1st Day

     (Yes, Sam has a huge bruise on his head.He was playing "timber" on his bed aka falling on it and hit his headboard. Yes, I should get rid of their headboards.) 

   Listen!  . . . Do you hear that?  . . . Yeah, nothing.  Nothing but my fingers hitting the keyboard.  I was up today at 5:45 because that is when Jarrad got up but I lay in bed for 45 minutes trying to calm my heart.  I felt . . . wistful? Nervous?  Sad?  Happy that I felt all of those emotions because it meant that I wasn't the crazy weird mom who was just happy that her kids were going to school - no, I am normal!  I actually miss the kids!  I am just like the "cool" moms!  Ok, a part of me is still happy (I got SO much done before 10 o'clock) but it is SO quiet.  Really quiet.  I miss them.  And I am happy.
   Ok, I am just weird.
   But let me tell you what I got done before 10 -
1.  Went to the elementary school and dropped Emma off.  She was happy and excited.  Her teacher seems great.
2.  Preschool - Sam went right in.  No problem.  Fingers crossed that the rest of the day went well!
3.  Hung out for Tea and Tissues - were you get to meet the PTO and talk.  Since this was the 3 day class, all of the parents are old hats at it - not much to talk about.  Left at 9.
4.  Library - drop off books
5. ACE Hardware - to return and purchase
6. Post office (James - expect your package on Wed.)
7.  Converting Hearts Thrift Store to drop off stuff
8.  The dump to get rid of some electronics
9.  Oh - and I got some breakfast in there too.
   And now, I am typing.
   And it is so quiet!
   What am I going to do?

It's the most wonderful time of the year. . .

See all of my lovely presents?  AKA - Emma's school supplies

  No, not Christmas.  SCHOOL!  Yes, school is starting in only a few short weeks and while a part of me is sad -babies growing up and all that -, another part feels like dancing through the house throwing petals into the air.  For one year, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning I will have a full 4 hours to myself.
   Ahhh!
   Next, year, I have to get a job.
   But for one year - one beautiful year - if I am tired, I can come home and take a NAP!  I can clean the house and it will stay clean (for 3 hours).  Dishes won't multiply every 5 minutes and NO ONE will be yelling for me for a grand total of 16 hours a week!
    Giddy giddy giddy!!!!

Sam's school supplies

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

With the school bus honking
And parents yelling  "Be of good cheer"
It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
It's the hap -happiest season of all

With the mommies all smiling and daddies high five-ing

When the bus comes to call
It's the hap - happiest season of all!

Want to be "that mom" so I made towel ponchos

     Pinterest is awesome - awesome at collecting ideas and awesome at making you feel inadequate!  I love it.  I do.  I want to be "that Mom"  that creates awesome meals and activities for her kids.  I kind of hate these moms and yet, I am about to do what they do.  Post my own "creation".  Why?  Because I am proud of myself.  And as a stay at home mom, sometimes you go a little nuts.
    My mom was a stay at homer.  I asked her once how she did it.  She told me she sewed and crafted. Now, I do it.  Others in my acquaintance do it.  They sew, can, garden and create awesome meals and activities.  And then share it because we understand the why we do it and can truly appreciate the creation.
   Last  week, the kids went with my folks to the beach.  Mom asked if I would provide the beach towels so she wouldn't have to pack them.  Which got me to thinking about lugging things to the beach and kids who have to hold a towel because they are  freezing and can't grab a pail.  Which made me think of a friend who has these terry cloth ponchos that she uses for her kids.
    One similar to this one I found on Amazon for 14.50 - great  but also not very big as it is designed for a toddler.  SO I looked on pinterest - gathered some info and made my own - 2 - for about the same price.

I bought 2 towels (4 total but 2 for one poncho) for this project.  I cut them in half - making Emma's more than half so it would be longer.  I wanted this to "grow" with the kids.  Anyway, I cut it in half(ish) to make the 2 pieces of the body.  Then hemmed the rough edges. 

For the hood, I cut up the excess piece to about the same size as a hand towel.  It probably would have been prettier with a hand towel and it's finished edges.  As it was, I sewed the fringie edges up on the hood piece.

I attached the hood piece to one of the body pieces. 

Sew the 2 body pieces together but leave the hood area open.

Turn the hood inside out and sew. 

Sew the corner  - I don't know what you call it but I am sure that there is a technical name for it - so you have less of a pointy head!  All in all, it took about an hour to make each on

Take pictures of your models - who love them!  Field test says that they worked really well.   I saw a tutorial that had a pocket on the front.  Maybe I will go back and add one later but . . .For now, it works.  And I feel - for a moment - that I am that mom. 

5 minute week review (ok, maybe a little bit more than 5 because just this title alone. . . )

      I have been wanting to write for the past 4 days but have been WAY too lazy!  So here it is - a way to write about all the topics that are floating in my head.  Maybe I will expand later?
Wait . .  .
Who am I kidding?
   Anyway,
     Monday - surgery.  Side note: Jarrad is doing better - the hand is getting stronger but he still feels the strain after a full day. I am not sure how I got him in the van after surgery because we traded cars with my folks so that he could do a linear slide instead of pulling up into the van.  He does say that the carpal tunnel feels so much better! 
     Tuesday - mom and I went to a scrapbook store and had lunch out - fun!  It was nice to talk to her.  My mom is my friend.  I like that.  I hope I can be my children's friends when they are adults.  And not living in my house.  Emma had her last (full) day of school.  Sniff.  On to first grade.
    Wednesday - Got up and went to the Kindergarten awards ceremony.  So proud of her this year.  Her teacher says that she was a role model and knew how to behave even when the other children were misbehaving.  It was over by 9 and we packed the kids and mom and dad into the van and sent them to the beach.  Jarrad and I took a nap in the middle of the day!!!  I got up, did some errands and brought home take out - no cooking for the next 2 days!  Got a call from the folks at 9:30 to say good night to the kids.
    Thursday - Slept in till 8 - CRAZY!  Commented on how quiet the house was and how much we missed the stinkers.  Had a leisurely morning reading and doing NO chores.  I had intended to do "stuff".  Didn't.  Took Jarrad to the spinal cord dr.  to review the scans that they did 2 weeks ago.  Got the under (?) dr. that we don't like - she hadn't even looked at the scans - what??? Anyway.  Took too long so we didn't have time to go see the movie that we wanted to - we were meeting friends for dinner.  So we went to Earthfare and had coffee and read.  I like reading.  Had dinner with friends and came home.  Jarrad was wiped so he fell asleep at 8:30.  I folded laundry.  Got a call from the kids at 9:00 this time.
    Friday- Jarrad went to work.  I had breakfast with my BFF and then spent the next 2 hours trying to put some semblance of order to my house before the everyone came back at 3.
    I really missed the kids.  I know that they had a good time and it was nice to be able to read for 2 hours at a time while they were gone but I missed them. . .  I missed them.

 

Another Birthday

   Dear Sam,

Wishing that Thomas would be his brother (sleepovers EVERY night!)

    Today, you are 4.  While sometimes I despair that you will never learn to use a fork, I would not trade you for the world.  I love your craziness with all my heart.  I love it because you will snuggle with me.  I love it because you insist on kissing my nose good night (weird but loveable) and I remember these things when you are throwing a royal fit or when you are up on stage in church NOT singing the song . . .
    I love your ingenuity and your confidence.  I love your compassion.  I love your bravery.  This year was hard and you had your moments but you adapted.  And when you heard me crying, you put your arms around me and cried too. Even brave boys can be scared once in a while.  And you are brave.  You touch snakes and worms.  You try new foods.  You make new friends. 
    I love the fact that you stand up for the ones that you care for.  I remember when I was acting out the part of the "mean teacher", you thought I was yelling at a friend and rushed to her rescue.  Maybe someday you will learn to not just offer protection from others but also from yourself.  It really isn't nice to bonk Emma on the head.
   I love your logic - "Sam, you can't have any cake until you eat 3 pieces of chicken."
   "But Mommy!  It's my BIRTHDAY!"
   Yes, my son - my sweet, weird, loveable boy.  It is your birthday.  Have a big piece of cake. 
   Happy Birthday!
                                                  Love,
                                                  Mom

Loving his birthday present!

Bad Mom

   I am a bad mom.  I don't want to be around my  kids right now - they are annoying! 
   Don't touch.
   Stop whining.
   Yes, you have to clean your room!
   Didn't I just tell you not to touch that?! 
   My sister wonders if they don't know.  Know what month this is.  If they don't understand at some level.  I am sure that they do.  At the very least, they are picking up on the tension. 
   And I am painting this year.  Ironic.  I am painting the deck and ramp.  Last year, after Jarrad "skied" down the ice covered ramp, we decided that we needed more traction.  Thus, to the hardware store I go.  I explain and they give me a product that we will see if it works.  But I need to paint the deck now while the weather is nice aka not 100 degrees.  But it is May and I am painting. 
Hmmmmmm. 
   By the way, I have 2 kids who are looking for a good home. . . we will pay for college.
   Takers? 
   Anyone???
   Yeah, that is what I thought. 

   ****

    (after story time with Daddy and a glass of wine for Mommy)
   Why do they have to be so cute and lovey? 
   Crap. 
   Now I am not annoyed anymore. 

public school

     This past week, we had our last Parent Teacher Conference for (Emma's) kindergarten experience.  She has really enjoyed her experience at school.  And we are really pleased with her progress.  I am so glad that we ultimately decided to send her to public school.  
     In the Mommy (Daddy) wars, there are many battles. 
     The Battle of Staying Home vs. Working.  
     The Battle of Day Care
     The Battle of Homeschool vs. Outside Education
     There are many smaller battles or skirmishes along the way - To Nurse or Not to Nurse, Clothe Diapers, When to start Solids.  The enemy is  never the same either.  Most of the time, the enemy is ourselves, public opinion/ friends or sometimes it is the grandmothers.  Sometimes it is our spouse.  Other times, it is a civil war as in the Battle of the Potty or Clean Hands Skirmish or the Eat Veggies Debacle.
     I think that Jarrad and I have won most of our battles.  At least, we feel victorious.  And we really feel victorious in the battle of education.  The proof is in the parent teacher conferences.  Her teachers say she is a delight.  A joy.  She has "lovely manners" (via her British teachers aid).  She has also mastered Kindergarten.  I asked her teacher about the last few days and her response was that Emma could stop coming now and be ready for 1st grade.  I am really proud of my daughter.  I know her class was pretty wild this year and yet she remained focused and listened to her teachers. 
    At the end, Jarrad asked what we could do over the summer.  The response was read and have her read.  He also asked what we could do for the classroom.  The ironic response was parent other children. 
    I get it. 
    And this is not a slam against homeschooling.  I know quite a few who homeschool.  Most of whom are excellent teachers.  A few are not.  But that is just my opinion.
    Still there is a debate amongst those that want to give the best to their children - is public school the right choice?  I can't afford private school but should I really send my kids out into the big bad world? 
    Public school gets a bad rap. 
    Too often in the media, the attention is on the teachers.  They aren't doing enough.  They need to be innovative. They aren't smart enough; I mean, those that can't, teach, right?  Or there isn't enough money in schools.  We need to pour more money into the system and THAT is the reason why schools are failing kids. 
     Again, in my opinion, the system that has worked for over a 100 years isn't broken.  It is the parents. 
    You know the saying, a few bad apples spoil the bunch?  It is true. 
     Money won't fix the problem.  Parents who care will.  You want proof?  Look at the Black schools of the south.  They had crap.  Nothing. And yet, they "still" turned out educated professionals who dramatically added to our quality of life today.  Why?  Parents who had a passion for their children. 
    Teachers are the problem.  Yes.  Yes. They are.  When you have to teach and parent, you can't do a good job teaching, if at all. 
    And yes, this is my soap box. 
    When you send your child to school, you aren't really sending.  You are adding a person to your arsenal of guiding your child.  Don't just wipe your hands off and say, "This is your job" because if you don't do your job, they can't do theirs. 
   Don't "send" your kids to school.  Be a part of it.  That does not mean you have to "be involved" in the school, it means you are INVOLVED IN YOUR CHILD.  That also means that you don't take an aggressive stance against the teacher  - remember, they are your PARTNER; not your adversary so don't treat them as such.
     There are a lot of battles in life.  Imagine feeling like you are losing more battles than winning and you can imagine what a teacher feels like.  Oh, and by the way, if the teacher feels like he/she is losing the battle with your kid, you just might be losing the battle with your kid too.

this time, it is us.

 

    If I seem to have a lot of stories about Sam it is because he is 3.  At 3, almost every (other) action or word is amusing or exasperating because they have yet to understand irony.  Or modesty.  Or discretion.  I had a lot of amusing anecdotes when Emma was 3. . .  So when I have a story to share about her, I will make a point to do so.  Otherwise, one might suspect favoritism.  No, she is (usually) just a sweet girl.
    Sweet, smart, and so darn . . . creative.
    This  past Saturday, we had dance pictures.  I went to parent's night this past Monday where the dance teacher said, "If it can happen between now and pictures, it will.  Wrap them in a bubble to keep them safe till then."  Oh, I should have listened!
    But then, when they are in their room and (supposedly) asleep, you don't expect disaster to strike.
    It was a dark and ordinary Tuesday night.  The kids were in bed.  Asleep?  They were supposed to be.  I was just getting ready to cut Jarrad's hair when we heard a blood curdling cry - "It hurts!  My nose hurts so much!"  And out comes Emma with blood dripping down her face. Somehow, she managed to acquire a gash across her nose.  We cleaned it up and I was starting to clean the rest of her face when I noticed a gash across the crease of her eyelid.  At first, I thought it was just smeared blood but no, it was another cut.

the morning after - so these pictures don't show how bad it got.

    "Jarrad!"  I called (he was getting supplies), "She cut her eyelid!"  I am panicking just a bit because it is the eye and that could be bad and I really, don't want to go to the emergency room AGAIN!  Been there and done that enough in the past 9 months. And I would probably have social services coming to investigate me. . . No, really, the last time Jarrad was in the hospital, they asked him 3 times if he felt "safe in his home environment".  It kind of makes me really sad when I think about it -  I just can't keep my family safe. 
    So, I yell at him that she cut her eye with a note of panic that has many levels to it when my poor tired girl, who is already in pain and crying, hears this and ramps up even louder saying, "I didn't cut myself!  I didn't have scissors!  I didn't! Mommy, I didn't cut myself!  I didn't have scissors!"
    It was just the note of levity to calm me down.
    To back up to those 3 year old days.  Not once, not twice, but 3 times this girl cut her hair.  The second time, she cut her hair, her screen, her sheets, 2 of her dresses, her doll's hair, her doll's clothes: let's just say she had a cutting party.  The 3rd time, we had spent 9 months growing out her bangs AT HER REQUEST when she decided she was tired of her hair in her eyes and cut bangs (she did a pretty good job but it could have been so bad).  Needless to point out it  has been  ingrained into her what would happen if she EVER did it again.   Hence her hysterical insistence that she didn't have scissors and hadn't "cut" herself with them.  
     Back to the cut on the eye, I wanted to get a second opinion before I packed my child up to head to the ER.  I tried to call my parents.  Didn't pick up.  Thought - wait!  I know a pediatric nurse!  Tried to call my brother in law.  No pick up!  Really people?  It is the EYE!  (I am starting to get a bit upset again) Scroll to find the number for the other nurse in the family - WHY is it not in my phone????  I know it should be there!!!!  Call my brother for his wife's phone number.  Only to realize that for some reason, I had put it under his name and not hers. ARGH! Text a picture and explain what is going on.  She says we should be fine going to pediatrician tomorrow.
    Poor Emma. The last time she went to the doctor, it took 3 adults to hold her down for her shot.  Going to the doctor is not fun for her.
    Still, we had to go just so that they could check her out, I told her. They "glued" the cut on her eyelid and said that everything looked fine.  No broken nose.  No damage to the eye.  Shouldn't scar.
    But we still have dance pictures on Saturday.  I think it is a rite of childhood to be one of "those" kids.  This time, it is us.
   Oh, want to know how she hurt herself when she was supposed to be sleeping?  Yoga.  Yep.  Crow to be specific.  If you are unfamiliar with yoga, crow looks like that -  Where did she learn this pose?  From when I took her to yoga one night and she loved it! 
    Emma calls it balancing on her nose and she was trying to do it on her bed when she fell off her bed and ended up with a black eye - that looked SPECTACULAR just in time for pictures.  

swim

     Every parent gives basic lessons.  One of them is in swimming.  Some will teach their children themselves.  Some will hire others to teach their children and some just throw their kids into the pool.  Our family hires someone.
    Sam started swim lessons this week.  We walked into the pool area and the first thing he says is, "Mommy, I learn to DIVE!"  Really?  Let's learn to float first, ok Buddy?
     Sam loves the water.  When we would take him to the local lake as a baby, he would crawl toward the water as fast as he could.  I have always known that he was a little fish since the first time I sat him in the tub and he flipped onto his belly so he could put his face in the water - and yes, it was deliberate.  How do I know?  Because he did it over and over and OVER.
    When he as under the supervision of a "responsible" adult (ahem, Grandpa) he went down the 2nd highest water slide at Great Wolf Lodge and then demanded "again!  again!"  Yes, this child loves water.  
     This is how the first swim lesson went: while the other kids are tentatively just putting their faces in the water to blow bubbles, my son is putting his entire body into the water.  While other kids sit on the top step and kick their feet, my son is under water on the bottom step.  He pretends to be a shark by going under the water and holding his hand on his head like a dorsal fin.  Sam made the life guard jump twice because he would go completely under the water at the bottom of the steps.  I had 2 moms look at me and say, "He's just not afraid of being under, is he?"
  
    And he is the only one who cried because he didn't want to leave the water.

    Maybe we should have saved the money and just thrown him in the pool . . .

    

teach my son

    "Mommy, why did you marry Daddy?"
     Sam asked from the back seat as we were driving home from the DMV.  For a minute, I was speechless.  It was a pointed and abstract thought question and not at all like my temper tantrum throwing three year old.  I have come to expect those kinds of questions from Emma but not yet from Sam.  It was so not tangible.
   It is hard to explain to a 3 year old why I married Jarrad.  It is not something that is easily defined.  I don't think that Sam would understand "Because we 'get' each other."  No one knows me the way Jarrad does (ok, no other earthly being).  And no one gets him the way I do. 
   What did I tell my little boy that would shape the way he would approach all girls that he dates?  I told him that Mommy and Daddy talked a lot and liked the same things.  I told him that Mommy thought  (and still does) that Daddy was cute . . . er, handsome (because according to this 3 year old, "cute" is for girls) and that Daddy made Mommy feel like she was beautiful.  To which the little charmer in training replied, "Mommy, I think you are pretty!"
     Awwwww!
    This is what I tell him now.  What will I tell him in the future?  Not sure.  I am depending on God to give me the words to say that will resonate with my son.  But it will go something like this:
     She should be your best friend.  She should make you want to be a better person.  She should be godly and humble.  She should support you and call you out when you are a jerk so learn the art of a genuine apology (hint: it doesn't always require flowers). She should love you all the time; even though she may not like you all the time. She should want to hold your hand.  She should pray for you. She should listen to you  - even when you don't speak. 
     And for you, my son, be her best friend.  Make her want to be a better person when she is with you.  Be godly and humble.  Have your own interests but don't expect her to want to do those things.  However, she should be interested in hearing you talk about your interests.  Be interested in hers.  Defend her but know when to let her fight her own battles.  Don't try to control her but know how to call her out when she crosses the line.  Laugh with each other.  Pray with each other.  Hold each other.  Know that sex isn't so much about love as it is about trust - she is trusting you to do the right thing and to treat her as a treasure.  Listen to her - her spoken words and her "that is not what I meant" words.  Know that she will change her mind 3 or 4 times.  Help with the housework as it will mean more than flowers.   Let her grow as a person and grow with her.
   Watch your father, your grandfathers, the other men in your life.  See how they treat their wives.  See how your friends treat their girlfriends.  How your sister is treated.  Determine the value of my words.  Choose your dates with care.  Treat those girls with respect and require that they do the same for you (because NO ONE is going to hurt my baby boy - grrrrr!)
    If you do this, then one day, you will "get" a girl and she will "get" you and I will be very excited to welcome a wonderful young woman as your wife. 
   

bear butt

    So Samuel likes Brave.  In particular, he likes the little boys - Hamish, Harris and Hubert.  Probably because he can relate to their mischief.  And being a boy and 3, he really thought it HILARIOUS when their little "bear" butts were shown.  
    And I made the mistake of grabbing him when we were watching it, pulling at the back of his pants and saying "bear butt".  
    Which made him collapse in giggles.  Come on- little boy (and  girl) giggles are the best!
     So I did it again.
     Yeah.  I have no one to blame for the ultimate outcome but myself.
     In my defense, I was trying to teach him the duality of the word - bear and bare.  
    Ok, that was a lame excuse. . . 
    
    So, I was outside, chatting with the neighbors across the street, when I hear Samuel call, "Mommy!" 
    And I turn around just in time to see him pull his pants down and hear the rest of his sentence . . .
     "BEAR BUTT!" 

And that is part of the reason why this blog is titles "Minivandals".   

jump in the deep end

     Curriculum night
     No signs - just follow all the other parents to the Media Center.  Wow.  I have not felt this way in a LONG TIME.  Where do I sit?  Not up front  - too eager and I really need to figure home out before I can help at school and the back would seem like I don't care and am just showing up to earn . . . what?
    Oh, good - someone I know.  Safe.
     Why don't I understand what they are talking about???
     It is nice to know that every new thing you start in life is a kind of jump into the deep end experience.  There is no wading in life.  Well, maybe kindergarten but even then, Mom and Dad leave you at the door and you have to walk to your seat all by yourself.  I digress.  There is no wading in life - you are in or you are out.
     Remember syllabus shock in college?  That panic you used to get when you went to the first day of class and opened the syllabus for the semester and thought, "how am I ever going to do all this?"  It comes back when your kid goes to school.  Only now, you think, I am going to fail as a parent and I will be shunned for my inability to create a productive member of society because my child will never learn to read, rite or do rithmatic and will either go live in a shack on a mountain or become a member of a cult.  This is a LIFE!  THAT YOU CREATED!  All of a sudden, failing at the game of life is much bigger than a board game.
      AHHHHHH!  Run screaming from the school, snatch your kid up and head for the mountains so maybe they can learn to be the best hillbilly they can be. 
     And take a deep breath.
     1.  Every kid develops at his/her own rate.  If they don't get it this year, they will next (or the one after).
     2.  Your child excels at something.  Picking their nose, perhaps?  Hold on to that something for dear life.
     3.  As hard as it is, when So & So who is the same age as your dear little one gets jumped, just remember that it is ok to be average.  Some talents/gifts come later.  And some talents/gifts burn out.
     4.  And make that worrisome child of yours hug or kiss you.  Because when those little arms connect around your neck and you have a gooey kiss on your cheek, does it really matter if she goes from 29 to 100?  Nah, she will figure it out before she goes to college.
On a mountain.
In a shack. 

Start school

    WAIT a minute!  School started 2 weeks ago - what are you talking about?  Yes, Emma started school on the 29th.  Kindergarten.  We had been home for 2 1/2 days.  I walked her into school that morning.  The pictures tell the story.  Happy before we leave home - not so sure outside the classroom -Mommy gives a kiss at our desk right before she leaves.  I love taking pictures of my kids like this!
     Anyway, this was the first day of school.  And I didn't cry.  Not until I realized why I wasn't crying.  It was because I had so much else to do and deal with that dropping off my eldest child - the one who made me a mother, my baby girl, was anticlimactic.  That was when I cried.  Not because it was her first day but because I couldn't focus on her and her day.  
     So for the next week and a half, I took her to school and walked her into her classroom.  Today, September 10th, I did not. They asked that all students be dropped off in the car pool line and go to their classrooms by themselves.
     And today I cried.  Today, I cried for the RIGHT reason.  I told her I loved her and to have a good day and she hopped out with a "Bye Mommy!  I love you too!"  (how long will that last??) and ran into the building.  And then I cried.  I cried because my baby is a kindergartener.  I cried because I didn't know where the time had gone and how had she gotten so big already?
    I tell her to stop growing.  I tell her to not drink her milk and that I will squish her at night.  She tells me that it doesn't help; she has to grow because that is what kids do.  And when she gets "growed", she will come see me but she is going to live next to Grammy. Yes, Grammy.  Hmmm.
     The pediatrician says that if she continues at this rate of growth and depending on when she hits puberty (which I just found out happens approximately when you hit 100 lbs. Which makes sense to me), she could be as tall as 5'10".  So I will stop feeding her at 80 lbs. And that will stop time. Right?  I am just kidding (about the not feeding her part).  I love seeing her grow and learn.  I just wish that the rest of the world would slow down- no laundry and dishes or falls from ladders- so I could enjoy her a bit more.  I wish that I could say I have learned my lesson, but well, the laundry needs to be done - do you see how cute she looks? And dishes and life just happens.  I will just have to try to snatch bits and pieces when I can.  And take lots of pictures!