It is 9:30 at night and I am tired. But I am rebelling at going to sleep at 9:30. There is something wrong with that idea. In my head. I am an adult and adults stay up till 10 - at least. I guess I am just like Sam who yawns all the while insisting that he is not tired.
Jarrad is on his side, "deeply breathing". He is tired. He is running a low grade fever. No, no open or angry wounds this time. I think it is another UTI. Oh, the joys of paralysis! I will take a sample to the doctor tomorrow. I am actually hopeful that that is what it is because it is an "easy" fix.
He turned 40 yesterday.
I have always felt that age was just a number. That it didn't matter how old a person was. I have to think sometimes about how old I am. Too many other important things to remember than a number.
This feels big though. Momentous.
We had a get together with friends at a local restaurant. His sister came to spend the day with him. He had 2, yes 2 cakes. Because of a conversation that went like this:
Me: Jarrad, do you want me to get H to make a ginger cake or do you want a carrot cake for your birthday?
Jarrad: It's my birthday.
Me: I know.
Jarrad: I am going to be 40.
Me: Yes...
Jarrad: Why do I have to choose?
So, he had 2 cakes.
And a good time. We went to a restaurant and had lunch with friends. It was nice.
U2's newest album is called Songs of Innocence. It reminds me of Blake's collection of poems by the same title. The idea that innocence is a lack of knowledge; the opposite of experience. Neither is of itself bad or good. It just is.
And this just is.
Listen to me, being morose - ish. We have cake. Nothing is ever bad when there is cake.
(so this took me over a week to write and post - it's a little late!)
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