On being an inspiration

      Sometimes, people say dumb things.  I know that I have. We all have those moments where we say something and what is in our hearts gets lost on the way to our mouth and what comes out is not at all what we mean.  I do it all the time and I also hear it from others.  And since I know what it is like to have a foot in mouth moment, I try to have grace as a response.  I have hesitated to write this because I could hurt the feelings of folks that I care about but it is what I have been thinking about sooo, have some grace for me.
   "You're an inspiration."  You wouldn't think that such a phrase would cause me to wince but it does.  Just a smidge.  I get what is meant.  I do.  And I am glad that we are encouraging you to be better - I hope.  I am glad that you see something worthwhile in us.  I am glad that our living life makes you appreciative of what you have and who you have. We don't think of ourselves as inspirations because we love and love just does.  But it hurts to be called an inspiration and quite frankly, I don't want to be an inspiration. 
    It reminds me of who we were before instead of who we are now.  It means that there is something abnormal about us.  When we are called an inspiration, it is a reminder that our lives are not like everyone else's.  That we don't have the white picket fence with the cute steps leading to a porch in a cute little 2 story house where our spouse mows the lawn and we play football with the kids on Thanksgiving.  It is a reminder of bowel programs and med regimens and cathing accidents.  Of hospital stays and doctor visits.  Of trips that we can't take or events that we  miss.   It is a reminder of how much work it takes for whatever venue we find ourselves in where we are called an inspiration. We work SO hard to be "normal".  To not allow the challenges that we face in private be seen in public.  The word inspiration while being a compliment is a nutshell reminder that we aren't an ordinary family.
   It is a reminder that we are different. And not many really enjoy being different.
   Thank you for thinking that we are an inspiration.  But please, allow us a little normalcy by not reminding us that we are different because we already know we are.  Instead, if our story inspires you, go out and make a difference - however small so that someone else will be blessed.