just life

    After church last week, a friend asked if we wanted to get together.  I put her off.  I told her the truth - that I was cranky.  Later in the week, she asked what was wrong.
    "Just life." I told her.
    Last Saturday, I rolled out of bed and started our daily routine.  But this time, I just bit Jarrad's head off.  The poor guy was so bewildered.  He was barely awake and I am yelling at him.
    And at one point last week, I almost burst into tears because Food Lion had Friendly's Ice Cream.  Ok, it may be the BEST Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream ever!  But it doesn't warrant my teary eyes.  It wasn't the fact that it was there but it was other things - memories.  I bought it and ate it in 3 days.  Then I cried because there goes my being healthy thing.
    Jarrad wants to watch Stem Cell Universe with Stephen Hawking and I am flat out refusing.  That is curious to him as I tend to like that kind of stuff.
    He wants to know what is wrong and I don't want to think about it much less put it into words.

In the middle of a hurricane 

Flapping wings of seagull thoughts

I don't move in the eye of the storm

I can't

the calm will pass

and I will drown in my own head.