stage of grief - anger

    I have to be honest.  I am angry.  Or I was.  I will probably be again.  But it took a while for me to express it.
    The thing is, when I did - I was finally able to let go of the hold it had on me.

(Insert "Let it Go" from Frozen here) 

    I am under no delusion however.  I am fully aware that I will be angry again and my head will be a mess and I will yell and be irrational.  I just hope that I remember how to get over it.
    See, I was angry at Jarrad.  But not at him because it isn't him but the situation around him.  And I felt guilty for being angry.  He is in constant pain.  Yet he gets up EVERY SINGLE day.  And I was moping and irritable and guilty and just very angry.
     And I didn't feel like I could talk to him about it.
    What kind of person looks at her husband who is paralyzed and trying so very hard and says to him,  "I love you but I am so angry and resentful of you. And it isn't you but your chair and all the crap that comes along with it."
    A bully - that's who. 
    And no one likes a bully so...
    We tell our kids that they have to use their words.  They can't just scream and yell but the truth is that sometimes, anger doesn't have words.  Sometimes all it is is screaming and yelling.  The primordial yelp.  Sometimes, you have to yell first.  THEN you can use words.
   Unfortunately, some of the first words that you have to use are "I'm sorry."