are getting ready

     I was going to write a blog entry but now I forget what I was going to write about.  My mom has yelled at me for going too slow as I drive.  She says I am just like my dad - that  when we are thinking, we tend to not pay attention when we drive.  At least I was driving slowly.
     My head is full of all this "stuff" and I forget it.  I feel like I stutter my thoughts into conversations. 
     Jarrad's discharge date is August 29th.  Emma starts kindergarten on the 29th.  Social Security denied us so I sent in an appeal but got called today to say that his medical disability has yet to be determined.  Jarrad has carpel tunnel in his hands.  Is it temporary or something more serious?  Will the ramp be done?  Will the bathroom be done in time? Or a part of it?  Can he get into the van?  Will we get the stuff we need for home in time?  How are we getting a chair and all the other stuff home?  How is this going to work?  What is the drive going to be like? 
     I need to be at rehab for my training but no one is giving me an amount or a time - just "whenever you can".  That is NOT an answer.  We are going to spend the night together in the ADL suite.  I am not sure what the acronym is for but it is like a little apartment to see how we handle it.  I refered to our situation as that of parents.  Hello - this is our new baby, Paraplegia.  I feel like we are always running out to the doctor or nurses with every minor thing.  I think that both of us are feeling this nonpressure pressure.  We have no idea what life is going to be like.  I can't help but think that Jarrad and I are going to be all right but everyone keeps saying how brave we are or that we are amazing- I know it is weird but it makes me think that they all know something that we don't.  I feel stupid.  It is hard to think that we are going to be alright when I feel like people know so much more about this situation.  Do they know something I don't?
     Even this blog seems to be stuttering.   There is no eloquence to it.