and trust

    It is funny how God works.  Sometimes, it is a slap across the head and sometimes, it is a gentle reminder.  I feel, no, I know that right now, He is gently reminding me to trust Him.  After last night, I slept poorly.  This morning, I took Emma to school and came back.  Jarrad's knee looks bad and his thigh is swollen.  Hard.  We are going to the Dr. in a few minutes.  We think he must have somehow - not sure how - dislocated his hip and knee.
     Remember when I said, I couldn't take much more?  Well, I am broken.  All I have left is my faith.  I HAVE to trust God.  He said as much in this mornings devotion.
     At 6:00, I felt the need to get up and open my daily devotion.  I usually read Proverbs 31 Ministries.   http://www.proverbs31.org/devotions/  The devotion today was about trust.  I need to trust Him.  In everything.  Today, I am repeating "I will trust you" over and over.  If you say something over and over, it will be true at some point. At some point, you have no choice.
     Not long after the accident, I learned that if I thought too much about the future, I would drive myself to hysterical sobbing.  Now, I have to remind myself again of this lesson.  Let the future come at its own pace.  Don't try to plan too far ahead or you will drive yourself to a hospital for admittance.

     So this was yesterday.  Today, we are better.  Tired, frustrated but better.  There was no blog clot.  Yea.  At least that is something.  This morning, we noticed that there is a projection from his hip - like a dislocated bone.  Yea.  But what are we to do?  We already went to the Dr.  and got no help.  "You will probably need an MRI."  Yea.  
     I will trust you.  I will trust you.  I will trust you.  I will trust.  I will.