cry out

My God, My God!  Why hast thou forsaken me?
Matthew 27:46
     Have you ever wanted to cry these words out?  Have you been so overwhelmed with whatever your situation is that you just fall to your knees in anguish? Have you ever been so overwhelmed with a situation that the idea of sackcloth and ashes makes sense?  If not, then you have never experiences real pain.
    "But  I . . . "  STOP.  Don't even go there.
     I remember sitting in the Student Activities Center in college.  I was worrying about how to pay my next tuition bill when I overheard a couple of students talking about getting a C in a class.  I wanted to laugh at them.  They had no idea what real crisis was.  Now, I just want to laugh at my former self.  What did I know? If anything like the above situations was going to cross your lips - anything frivolous like money - then you have no idea what I mean.  I am talking about a loss.  A tangible, physical loss that results in an intangible loss as well.  One that makes your very soul cry out to the Creator begging Him to show you something, anything that would make the pain ease for a tiny fraction.
     Hence, the verse. 
     Christ said these words on the cross.  The cross He chose to go on.  There is some discussion among scholars as to why He would say this even though He knew what was coming.  Even when He knew that this was the perfect plan and He knew the outcome.  So WHY would He ask?  Why would His soul cry out in anguish and misery at the abandonment of HIS Father?  When He knew in 3 days time, He would rise again?    I am no biblical scholar.  I am human.  What I know with my head doesn't always make sense in my heart.  It is the difference between knowing and feeling.  And now, I cry My God, My God!  Why have you forsaken me?  Why haven't you shown your hand of power in our life?  Why have you sent your children to go through this pain?
     Do you know what comforts me?  That Christ went through this pain of the heart.  What He knew with His head  was contradicted in the pain of the heart.  All those biblical scholars can talk all they want about how this was a fulfillment of what was prophesied.  They speak logically and quote verse after verse and are all right but that doesn't mean you don't consider the heart; the humanity, as well.  Christ was God made flesh.  He knew all these things but still suffered.  Otherwise, how could He be punished UNLESS there was punishment?  Christ suffered not only for the sins of a world but also suffered the loss and pain associated with being in a sinful world.  All the questions that are asked about where is God when bad things happen to good people can be changed to ask,  "Was not Christ a 'good person'?"  Even the other major religions acknowledge Him as some sort of  "Holy Man".  And he still asked, Where are you God? Even though HE KNEW!
     I know that there is a plan.  I know that this is not the result of something that we did but rather the effect of being in a sinful world and I know that God uses everything to His glory.  But knowing doesn't stop the pain.  I think that Christ showed us that.  He showed us that despite the pain, He still trusted. We need to keep going through the pain, going through the emotions to get to what we know.
     I know that we have a hard time ahead.  I know that it will get better.  Already, I see it getting better as Jarrad gets stronger but it doesn't stop the pain.  It doesn't stop the heart crying out. 
     I believe in the deity of Christ.  I believe in his humanity as well.  It is my comfort.  Because I believe that He KNOWS.  He knows in only that intimate way that others who have survived (ha!) can. 
     I believe it is a theme throughout the Bible.  Trust through pain to the end. 
    It is my only hope.