WAIT a minute! School started 2 weeks ago - what are you talking about? Yes, Emma started school on the 29th. Kindergarten. We had been home for 2 1/2 days. I walked her into school that morning. The pictures tell the story. Happy before we leave home - not so sure outside the classroom -Mommy gives a kiss at our desk right before she leaves. I love taking pictures of my kids like this!Anyway, this was the first day of school. And I didn't cry. Not until I realized why I wasn't crying. It was because I had so much else to do and deal with that dropping off my eldest child - the one who made me a mother, my baby girl, was anticlimactic. That was when I cried. Not because it was her first day but because I couldn't focus on her and her day.
So for the next week and a half, I took her to school and walked her into her classroom. Today, September 10th, I did not. They asked that all students be dropped off in the car pool line and go to their classrooms by themselves.
And today I cried. Today, I cried for the RIGHT reason. I told her I loved her and to have a good day and she hopped out with a "Bye Mommy! I love you too!" (how long will that last??) and ran into the building. And then I cried. I cried because my baby is a kindergartener. I cried because I didn't know where the time had gone and how had she gotten so big already?
I tell her to stop growing. I tell her to not drink her milk and that I will squish her at night. She tells me that it doesn't help; she has to grow because that is what kids do. And when she gets "growed", she will come see me but she is going to live next to Grammy. Yes, Grammy. Hmmm.The pediatrician says that if she continues at this rate of growth and depending on when she hits puberty (which I just found out happens approximately when you hit 100 lbs. Which makes sense to me), she could be as tall as 5'10". So I will stop feeding her at 80 lbs. And that will stop time. Right? I am just kidding (about the not feeding her part). I love seeing her grow and learn. I just wish that the rest of the world would slow down- no laundry and dishes or falls from ladders- so I could enjoy her a bit more. I wish that I could say I have learned my lesson, but well, the laundry needs to be done - do you see how cute she looks? And dishes and life just happens. I will just have to try to snatch bits and pieces when I can. And take lots of pictures!
{{{{Belinda}}}}}
ReplyDeleteWelcome to another stage of Motherhood! It's just another junction in the road, that we can't avoid! There will be many more! Like the first day of Middle School, or the first day of Hight School...sending them off to college, watching them get married...and the biggest ::::gasp::::: watching THEM become parents! =:O
That song that says "Don't Blink...." is SOOOO TRUE!!!
Don't worry about the crying! You're not the first, nor will you be the last! Oh, and that will not be the first or last time you shed tears over that precious "little baby"!!!
God will continue to bless you!
Oh, and a side note....IF you figure out HOW to slow down, or STOP the laundry and dishes.....please let me know! LOL! I think I'm on load #5 for today! And I've still got sheets and blankets to do! ::::Sigh::::
Love you and your updates!
{{{{{BIG BIG HUGS}}}}
You will squish her at night, HAAA!!!
ReplyDeleteWe also joked with our kids that we were giving them "Stay Small" (which was really just a vitamin). They got wise to it after a while, but it didn't really work either.
ReplyDeleteI've been praying for you and your husband through this time of change in your lives and will continue doing so!
You are an excellent writer! :)
You are right. . . she is super cute and precious. Glad she is enjoying kindergarten!
ReplyDeleteLove this, and you did focus on her, look how amazing she is, look how cute she looks, and you walked her to class, some kids don't even get that! You are an incredible mother, don't ever second guess that. We all have some not so "stellar" moments, but in the grand scheme, she is loved and she knows that. I'm crying with you! She is getting so big! Though not to your extent, I can relate. How many times have I gotten grumpy with the girls, or rushed things, or postponed them because life with Conrad is hectic and we just haven't had time. I feel guilty every day when Izzy asks to do 10 things, yes 10 after school, and I say, sorry baby not today, we have....maybe tomorrow, only tomorrow really means this weekend if there is time. But in the end, I know I'm a good mom as well. I really think parenting is about a lifetime of joy and guilt and everything else wrapped together!
ReplyDeleteLove you!