The Year of The House

        I always liked going to Chinese restaurants and reading the zodiac.  It was fun.  According to the zodiac, I am a dragon.  I like that.  It seems fierce and strong and don't mess with me. Jarrad is a tiger and, fortunately, we are a good match.  Emma is a dog - we are not good matches so when she hits puberty and we really start to butt heads, I can blame it on her year. Sam is an ox and they aren't compatible with either the dragon or tiger. Hmm, our future seems very ... frustrating! 
       But I always like the idea of the year cycles.  Not only do you have a different animal every 12 years but there is a different element too.  This year is that of the fire rooster.  Not sure what that means, but it is interesting. 
     A whole year of something.  Not like the Greek and Roman horoscopes that only give you 30 ish days but a whole year.  It makes you think that time is precious and should be savored. I know, that seems . . . odd.  To savor a year.  But maybe it is because we get everything so quickly that the idea of a whole year seems different. 
     We do get things quickly.  That is why it is hard to wait.  And hard when the waiting is over. 
     4 years ago, we decided we needed a new house.  We tried to make this one work and it does.  It works.  But not forever.  The ramp is long and when Jarrad is tired, he has a hard time pushing up and we only have the one exit for him.  I suppose I could try to throw him out a window in case of emergency but I really don't see that happening.  He can get in and out of the house by himself but it requires some effort.  He can't really cook and he can't get the mail.  He can't really get into the kids rooms and he has no place to work.  As we look at getting older too, we are going to need a lift and where on earth would I put it?  Right now, we are making this house work but for how long? 
      But 4 years ago, we weren't ready.  There were too many unknowns.  Too many uncertainties.  We found a great realtor and she knew a builder who we were confident knew his stuff.  We thought we had found the perfect place but when it came down to the details, we were scared that we couldn't make it work and decided to wait.  We put together a plan and worked on it.  And now, we are ready.
     And now, we are scared again and just a little discouraged.
     Jarrad said to me the other day that it would be so much easier if he wasn't paralyzed.  And he is right.  It would be.  We wouldn't have to worry about stairs, flat lots, bathrooms.  We would have found the perfect house about now.  We wouldn't have to worry about floor plans and finding a 1 story house or finding a lot where we aren't on top of our neighbors.  But we might not be looking for a house.  The whole reason why we painted was to make this house more ours.  I had accepted that we would stay here forever.  It is March.  We are 3 months into The Year of The House and I don't know how much we have accomplished.  I was kind of hoping it would only be one year.  I was excited for it to be only one year but the reality of it is that it might be 2 or 3 years. 
      A year seems like a long time when you are ready to begin.