The Croods

    As May approaches, I find myself thinking of where we were last year and how we had no clue on how drastically our life would change.  I try not to think about it too much - I am not ready-still can't look at pictures of "before" . . .
     I have been thinking about last fall though.
     I think that most people who go through something as permanently life changing as this would agree  (at least I hope that they would because otherwise I am really alone) when you are home and all the adrenaline wears off, people don't drop by every day and things start to get into a routine, you hit a low.   You are alone and you are tired. VERY tired.  Everything is incredibly hard. This is when you start to think.  I was there last September and probably through the end of the year.   You  feel the sadness about the "death" of all your hopes and dreams and you don't have new ones to replace them or even the energy to try to replace them.  You have to force yourself to be around people because you know you need to but it is hard and it hurts.
     Hopeless. 
     Tired.
     Sad.
     Going out was not fun - Jarrad got tired easily.  The kids were rammy.  And I was just tired and overwhelmed by the amount of stuff to do at home and out of it.  We were all tired of riding in the van but there are doctors and groceries and school . . .
     That is why a day that is close to what your dreams were is so important.
     Saturday, we took the kids to see The Croods. 
     We didn't tell them that was what we were going to do.  Just that we were going to go to Wal-Mart (we did).  When we pulled up to the movie theater and Sam said, (excitedly) "THAT (place) makes me scream!"  He was so funny - he kept waving at the ticket lady and making excited noises as he jumped up and down and HAD to be the one to get the tickets!
    Everyone was laughing at him.
    I kept looking over at the kids during the movie.  They were enjoying themselves so much.  And then I would look over at my husband; he would turn to look at me.
    And we would smile.
    And I felt good.
    It was a good movie.  The kids loved it.  There was enough for adults to laugh too  - I really admire writing like that.  We had a good time doing something that we had planned to do "before".
    We will probably never be able to do all that we planned, that we dreamed about but the dreams and plans are coming slowly and I am starting to feel like hope isn't just a tease.