Saturday, January 19, 2013

aftermath

     Yesterday, I posted a blog on how I was feeling.  Pretty much like crap.  I hate January anyway.  Horrible month - bleak, weird weather and 31 days.  Sheesh.  So being in January doesn't help with my mood.  
    Jarrad does.  He gave me permission to read.  By permission, I mean he gave me permission to give myself permission.  And he loves me. 
    The kids do.  They played SOOO nicely together yesterday.
     My parents do - Dad called to check on me.  He can't fix this like he could fix things when I was a kid but he can help carry the pain. 
    My totally awesome friends do.  See below email that I got this morning: 

Belinda-
I am no good at responding on blogs so this is my response to yesterdays blog:  Getting out of bed is fighting.  It’s the battle you have right now, so just put your armor on and get out of bed and rejoice at that! (Then call it a day and go back to bed J )
 
What’s the quote: “Everest was conquered one step at a time.”  Or “how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.”  I’m praying for you.  If there is ever a burden I can bear from 400 miles away please tell me.  You are loved by so many people. And whether or not you believe it today, God gave you the unique skill set to handle this situation with grace and a testimony.  That doesn’t mean you can’t cry about it though.  I am a firm believer in a good cry. And I know what it is to walk around the house with the feeling like certain situations are never going to change. 
 
Remember:
You are loved by the Creator of the Universe
You have a specific purpose in this life
You are still being prayed for. 

    And she is right - Getting out of bed is the first step.  And it is all about steps.  There is one big mountain in my way (I don't want to think about eating an elephant . . .) and it is all about baby steps.  Crying is also very good.  I did that yesterday and felt SOOO much better.  
   In summary:
 1.  I can have bad days (or weeks)
 2.  I can give myself permission to "slack off" to get myself together 
 3.  I need to remember the important things aka NOT ALONE IN THIS
 4.  Crying helps.  So does prayer.  So does hugs. 
 
   
    

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