own hubris

    When I went to college, I was going from a small (20 in the graduating class) independent study based private school to a lecture, classroom setting.  I thought I would be smart and go to a Bible college my first year.  That way I could learn how to learn in such an environment with content that was safe, familiar.  It was a good idea.  And I learned a lot.  Such as how incredibly sheltered and naive I was.  Now, with my own children, I want to create that for them.  There was an innocence there that I treasure now.
     But I digress.
     I took an English 300 level class.  As a freshmen.  As a freshman, I was astonished at my own boldness.  Taking a junior/senior level class!  Gasp! (again, see the naivete?).  That class was one of the best classes ever and it justified my reasoning for "THE PLAN".   The point?  The final exam was to take a selection of works that we read and write an essay on a common theme.  Simple enough.  Unless, you were overwhelmed with a new type of learning and everything else.  I didn't really "get it".  But I do remember the test and I learned a lot in that class.  (again, get to the point, PLEASE!)  My theme was "hubris" which is excessive pride or arrogance to the point of losing contact with reality.   
     Why am I talking about this?  Because I feel that I am in danger of it.  I know that folks read my blog and I like it.  It makes me feel good when I hear that someone reads it.  People I don't even know.  I have always wanted to be a writer.  I have always wanted that fame - a quiet kind of fame.  Who really looks at the author's picture on the book jacket?  But I have always wanted to say (with a bit of pride) I wrote that.  Blogging fulfills that desire for me as I can publish.  But it is also a record of my feelings and thoughts - a diary.
     I am glad that people I don't know are reading this.  I am glad that for some, I put into words what they feel.  I hope it helps.  It helps me.  I just need to be aware of my own shortcomings (arrogance - just ask my siblings!).  So, I don't post on facebook what I write (well, sometimes, if I did something I want to show off!) and I don't always publish what I write (somethings should not be sent out into the world).  But if you like something or it touches you, please let me know.  This world, for all of its technology and crap, is a very lonely place and sometimes, we all want to know that what we are going through isn't the first time even if it is unique to us. Remember that first heart break?  Yeah,  we have all been there. 
     So I will try to write from the heart and as it is cathartic for me, I hope it makes you feel not so alone.