on the other side of the desk

     Yesterday, we had our first parent/teacher conference. Well, it was for Jarrad and Emma.  For me, it was my first time on the other side of the desk. 
    When I taught, we always met in the science teacher's classroom for conferences.  We never had individual ones. Maybe it would take too long.  The teachers met as a group to "protect" each other.  See, parents can be mean if they think that their cub is being threatened.  And isn't that sad?
     Anyway, I would come with my armor: my gradebook, copies of the signed progress reports that I sent every 2 weeks.  See, I learned that if I kept parents informed of grades, there really wasn't a reason to attack me.  Again, very, very sad. 
     As Emma grew older and we started talking about schools, folks would always ask, why aren't you going to homeschool?  Here are my reasons:
1.  I know my self.
      a. There is a reason why I chose secondary education.  My mom taught first and second grade.  She       was an AWESOME teacher and she loved it.  When I was in high school, I had the opportunity (one I think EVERY high schooler should have) of shadowing a professional.  I was an aid in her class and the kindergarten class.  I learned something very important:  I did not like it.  Listening to the kids sound out the words would have caused me to bang my head against the table.  So, no thank you.
     b.  I would not be able to concentrate unless I had a separate room to homeschool.  I would be distracted by household chores.
2.  I know my child.  She is just like me.  See 1.b for further reasoning. 
3.  I do think that this is part of parenting.  I want to protect my child and part of that is sending them out to learn in a safe environment.
     "Wait!  Schools aren't safe!  What are you talking about?  What about XYZ???"  You are right, not ALL school are safe.  But my home is.  And my child is coming home.  We talk about her day and right and wrong.  She needs to learn to make decisions and figure out where she stands. 
    Too often, I would have a middle schooler's parents say to me, "My child wouldn't do that."  Yes.  The child you know wouldn't.  But this child has a chance to figure out who they are and where they are going to draw his or her own moral line in the sand if you will.  School and going home to people who love you and will help you think about your decisions and reprimand you or praise you IS a safe place.  There are lessons that I absolutely cannot teach her.   But I can be there to pick her up if she falls. 
    And kids need to fall.  They need to fail as much as they need to win. 
4.  Children need to learn to respect other adults.  I hate the fact that I dreaded parent teacher night.  Parents would attack teachers.  I was accused to shaking a 5 foot 8, muscled 14 year old boy.  This kid was big.  I didn't and there was another teacher who backed me up.  That didn't stop the attack though. 
     When I taught, I always told my kids that I didn't care if they liked me or not.  But they would respect me if only for my position.  "Well, if you don't respect me . . .". WRONG!  I don't have to respect you (according to your connotation).  You have done nothing to earn it.  I have by reason of my education. That shocked quite a few kids when I explained it to them.  Oddly, I think that they appreciated the distinction.
    Emma and Sam will and are learning that there is such a thing as obligatory respect.  Hmmm, I wonder if a few adults need to learn this in light of this week.  (ZING!  Can't help myself.   I am SOOO tired of all the posts!  If you don't like it, get off your butt and on your knees or out the door and do something about it but STOP RUNNING YOUR MOUTH!)
    5. Jarrad and I have added another partner to our parenting.  Our parents, siblings and close friends are all partners.  Our church is our partner.  As cliche as it is, it does take a village to raise a child.  And you get to choose the village.  You also get to choose how you react to that village.  See reason #4. 
     This is a long post.  I could go into more depth but it would be even longer.  The point is, I AM teaching my child.  I am parenting my child.  And because of that, I can say, that our meeting went really well.  Emma is doing wonderfully in school.  She is going to be in the higher reading group and her teacher says that in the last 9 weeks, Emma has blown her away with how much she has grown. 
     Emma's teacher is awesome.  She is doing a great job but so are we.