Kind of . . . wrong . . . somehow . . .

http://www.cnn.com/2013/04/14/us/anti-war-vet-suicide/index.html

    Have you seen this?  I am not quite sure how I feel about it but I am going to try to figure it out as I write it.
     Ok. Here goes.
     I used to shrug in perplexity when I would hear older folks say that they knew where they were and what they were doing when Pearl Harbor or when we landed on the moon.  But I get it now.  I know exactly where I was and what I was doing when 9/11 happened.  I remember how I heard and what happened next.  I also remember the young man who went racing down the hallway shouting, "We are going to war!  I can't wait!"
    You foolish young man.  Go back to history class.
    I get the fact that our emotions will guide our decisions - I am a woman after all.  Chocolate = gOOOd!  
    What I don't get is folks who get angry about joining up "to fight terrorists" and "defend my country" and then blame the government for "using them".
    When you signed up, what did you think was going to happen?  You signed your body over to Uncle Sam to use however he wanted for a period of time. And if you didn't think that was what you were doing, you were stupid.  Yes, stupid.
    Because yes, the government sucks and will lie to you and will use you and it is wrong.
    BUT you control your life and your attitude.
    I haven't seen the movie but I read the letter.                    
    I get that this young man is in a living hell.  I see my husband struggle daily to get dressed, to shower to move around this house.  He is in pain and it isn't fair because if you can't feel anything or move anything below a certain point, then you shouldn't have to feel the pain either.  And  I get that Jarrad "has it better" than some.  He had a job he could return to; one that holds confidence in his abilities and he does well at.  He has 2 great (crazy) kids.  He has wife who would haunt his afterlife if he gave up. He has his faith. He is also a para and not a quad - and that is a great difference.  Still, it hurts to see Jarrad struggle because I have to let him struggle.  I have to let him see what he can do and how to figure it out.  Together, we problem solve but . . .
    When Jarrad was transferred to the Bryan Center, they had to ask him about resuscitation.  He had them ask me if I wanted him to be resuscitated. 
    Dodo head. 
    I forgave him because he was severely injured and in pain and thus on drugs which clouded his judgement.  And I love him enough to respect whatever his wishes are BUT he better be ready for a fight.  I am selfish and nothing, nothing would stop me from fighting to keep him in my life; not even him.  I have a full arsenal that I am not afraid to use. 
     I guess I don't get this guy's wife.